Don't Protect Everyone
by sinetimore1
Summary: The story of what happened after Kurt yelled at Sarah in his apartment. What can Jane say to him to make him better?
1. Chapter 1

"It is not up to you Kurt! It is none of your damn business who I date!" Sarah argued with him.

"It is, Sarah. If it's Reade, it is." Kurt breathed the same time as her.

"I don't need you playing protective older brother, so thanks," Sarah spoke.

"I'm not," Kurt countered.

"Yes you are," Sarah continued.

"I'm not in the way that you think," Kurt argued.

"Okay, well then enlighten me, please," Sarah breathed.

"We've had so much loss in our lives. Our mom, Taylor, and dad's sick. I spoke to Reade, he told me things were serious. If it's true," Kurt paused.

"It is," Sarah answered.

"Do you know how dangerous my job is? The risks that I have to take," Kurt spoke.

"Kurt," Sarah sighed.

"Reade's job is exactly the same. The last thing that I want is you, or Sawyer, to lose someone that you love," Kurt tried to explain.

"Kurt, you don't need to protect everybody," Sarah pled with him.

"That's my point, Sarah!" Kurt started to shout.

"What's your point?" Sarah started to ask, softly.

"I can't protect everyone! Do you know how much it takes? It takes all of me! IT TAKES EVERYTHING FROM ME!" Kurt continued to stare at his sister, with his blue eyes wide. She just stared back, rocking back and forth on her feet.

"Kurt, what's going on?" Sarah whispered. Kurt blinked twice, and started to back away from her. He turned to the table, and grabbed his jacket while she stayed at the kitchen table.

"I'm not angry at you, alright? I'm sorry if I woke him up," Kurt spoke softly, and then walked briskly out the door. He walked to the stairs and slammed that door, since he couldn't slam the apartment door with Sarah watching him. He knew he should just turn around, go apologize, and try to explain things to Sarah. But she wouldn't understand. She's always sort of let him do the whole protective older brother thing, just because she knew he needed to after Taylor disappeared. She obviously did not understand what was at stake here, her wellbeing was at risk enough having Kurt as a brother. She couldn't honestly fall for Reade, she can't date anyone FBI. She already has to deal with Kurt's FBI commitment, she can't have that in her romantic life, too. Kurt stomped down the last step, and out into the cool night air. He took a deep breath and started walking down the street. His mind wondered to Jane, the kiss that he can't stop thinking about. Why the hell did she kiss him, and why the hell wouldn't she talk to him after that? He wanted answers, and clearly she wasn't going to give them willingly. He found that his legs took him straight to Jane's safe house when he was actually walking down her street. When he got to her door, there were no signs that she was there. The lights were off, and her detail wasn't really paying attention. He could tell from the phone lights shining on their faces in their car down the road. Instead of walking back home, like he should be at the late hour of 2 in the morning, he decided to knock on the door. Maybe she was home, just sitting in the dark. His logic was so skewed that it's almost like he was drunk. Maybe he shouldn't knock, she might be asleep. He decided to just sit on her small patio, just waiting for something. He didn't quite know how long he would be sitting there. His head was in his hands, he was reminiscing on her lips when he heard a quiet opening of the door.

"Kurt?" he heard a tentative voice and then lifted his head, but he didn't respond.

"Is everything okay?" Jane asked, walking to sit next to him. He was in the middle, so she tried to sit far away from him to keep her thoughts from wondering to less appropriate things. "Do you need to talk?" she asked.

"That's the last thing I need," Kurt huskily said, still not looking at her.

"Do you want to come in? I have beer, and some soup," she chuckled at her own menu choices.

"No, that's okay," Kurt said again, in his husky voice, and she can't think anymore.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Jane asked.

"Nothing, just protecting," Kurt cynically spoke. Jane couldn't take it anymore, so she put her hand on his two, and started rubbing her thumb on the back of his hand. She felt him flinch the moment she touched him, but she pressed on.

"Thank you, for today. Really, I appreciate you standing up for me," Jane explained.

"Good to know someone does," Kurt just looked upward at the stars.

"What can I do?" Jane asked, still waiting for him to look at her.

"Just… Just be here," Kurt's voice broke, as he finally met her eyes. His eyes were red and slightly moist, her face was there just as plain as day.

"Kurt," Jane sighed, and moved her hand to around his shoulder to put his head on her chest. She leaned against the railing and just held him. Kurt's arms moved around her small frame, and he just wanted to be in this moment forever. After a small period of time, Jane's leg started falling asleep, and she decided it was time to get up.

"Kurt, let's go inside," she softly spoke and started to untangle her legs from in between his, where they had somewhere gotten during their time on the small porch.

"I'm just gonna go home," Kurt sighed and started down the steps.

"No," Jane clearly said and shook her head at him. His resolve was broken the second she took his hand and turned to walk them inside.


	2. Chapter 2

"No," Jane clearly said and shook her head at him. His resolve was broken the second she took his hand and turned to walk them inside.

"Jane, I should really be going home," Kurt sighed, motioning to the door. He looked like he was trapped in a cage, his eyes wide and a bit sweatier than he should be on a cool night.

"Kurt, calm down," Jane spoke, and rubbed his arms with her cold hands. She started laying a blanket on her couch and unnecessarily fluffed the pillows a bit before leading him to sit down. She set him down on the couch and started walking to the kitchen. Jane wasn't quite sure what was going through her head, but it was taking all of her strength not to jump him right now. But she settled for getting him a glass of water. She walked back to him and handed him the glass, which he greedily emptied in one gulp. She sat cross legged on the couch next to him, just looking at him.

"I'm fine, really," Jane spoke, grabbing one of his hands from the empty glass. She put his hand on her heart like he had done for her so many days ago. "I guess being arrested is just an occupational hazard," Jane tried to joke with him.

"I know," Kurt looked like he was trying to get this through his head, but part of him was resisting accepting Jane's state of fine-ness.

"Kurt, what's really going on? Why are you here?" Jane asked him, rubbing her thumb on his hand again. He couldn't think when she did that, so he removed his hand from hers. The slight hurt was blatantly displayed on her face.

"I just need to think," Kurt sighed at her, not meeting her eyes again.

"Is there anything I can do?" Jane asked.

"Why do you make protecting you so damn hard?" Kurt just decided to ask her. He finally met her eyes, the fierceness he felt for her displayed in his.

"I-I didn't know I did," Jane stammered, and now it was her who wouldn't meet his eyes.

"You disappear for twenty-five years, then you come back. You show up in a bag in the middle of New York City, crawl out, and they deliver you right to my door. And then you get involved at my work, in far more capacity than the asset label that Mayfair gave you. Then you decide to come to my apartment and kiss me, not lightly by the way, and then you don't show up at the park," that's when Kurt's voice broke, giving away how deeply he was feeling.

"Stop," Jane whispered to him, pleading with him.

"No, you don't get to tell me to stop. So you kiss me, and then don't show up. So then you ignore me at the office, and then you pull away from me. You make this monumental decision that you don't want whatever we have, and you didn't even consult me on it. So you can understand why I'm a bit angry here. You make it so damn hard to protect you, just because you won't let me. You and Sarah both," Kurt was finally done with his rant, putting the glass down on the table and letting his head settle in his hands.

"I'm sorry," Jane simply said. She didn't know what more she could say.

"Yeah, me too," Kurt spoke, and decided it was time for him to leave. He rose from the couch without even looking at Jane, and started towards the door he entered through.

"Stay," Jane breathed, and started to walk towards him.

"Why? What's the point anymore?" Kurt was honestly not sure.

"The point is that I need you," Jane just came out with it. "And I wasn't really planning on having this conversation for a while, if at all,"

"Well, here I am, wondering. So if you've got anything to say, now is the time," Kurt turned around to look at her. He saw the tears forming in her eyes, wanting so badly to wipe them away with his fingers. But he knew that touching her would completely break him right now, so he just kept his hands at his sides.

"I need you to be okay, I need to keep you safe," Jane spoke clearly, deliberately.

"By pulling away and hiding things from me?" Kurt questioned, knowing she wasn't telling him all that he needed to know.

"I don't tell you things so that I can keep you safe," Jane said.

"Really? It's my job to protect you, not the other way around. And I can't protect you from things that I don't know," Kurt was getting frustrated with her.

"You're the one that needs protecting here, not me," Jane's voice started rising.

"What do I need protecting from? You appeared with my name on your back, if that's not a sign for me to protect you then I'm not sure what is," Kurt tried to reason with her. He moved away from the door and took a step towards her.

"What if I'm not the person that we think I am? What if you're the one in danger here?" Jane questioned him. Clearly distressed, Jane started wringing her hands and was suddenly very interested in her socks.

"Then we can work through that, together," Kurt breathed, his voice becoming more strained. He took another step towards her. Jane took one step back.

"Kurt, I'm not good for you, this can't work out," Jane raised her hands at him, as if pushing him away in her mind.

"Are we talking about working together or being together?" Kurt knowingly asked her.

"I just need some space," Jane backed another step away from him, trying to put some distance between them. Kurt took two steps towards her.

"Jane, stop," Kurt grabbed her hands in a futile attempt to pull her closer to him.

"Kurt, I can't," Jane breathed at him, continuing to pull away.

"Jane, you can't pull away from everyone forever," Kurt held her hands tightly.

"Let me go," Jane asked, and started taking her hands back.

"What are you protecting me from?" Kurt asked again, holding her hands tighter as Jane started to struggle more.

"Me!" Jane shouted at him, stopping her struggle. Kurt pulled her into his arms quickly, not giving her much of a choice.

"I don't need protecting, Jane. I need you to tell me what's really going on here," Kurt spoke to her, rubbing her back.

"Please let me go," Jane started to struggle against him again, but they both knew that if she really wanted out, he would have a broken nose and she'd be free to go.

"I need you to talk to me," Kurt kept holding her, waiting for answers.

"Do you know what I need, Kurt? Do you really wanna know? Because I'm getting a bit tired of turning around every time I may want to talk to you about us, and getting a face full of Allison fucking Knight. I'm also tired of you trying to hide it from me. You literally brought her in to the FBI and let her see everything, and let her control our undercover operation. So I'm not quite sure why you don't just leave me and go work at the Marshal's office, because that might benefit you a bit more. Maybe she'll be easier to _protect_ than me," Jane stated firmly, but after she finished speaking, her eyes went wide and she clamped a hand to her mouth. She knew she had said far too much for anyone's benefit, especially her own. What would ranting at Weller get her, a hug? She didn't need that either. Maybe she did, but that wasn't the point here. She saw the words registering on his face, and she decided it was time for her to take a walk. She shoved her converse on, grabbed her keys, and walked out into the cool night air.


	3. Chapter 3

She knew she had said far too much for anyone's benefit, especially her own. What would ranting at Weller get her, a hug? She didn't need that either. Maybe she did, but that wasn't the point here. She saw the words registering on his face, and she decided it was time for her to take a walk. She shoved her converse on, grabbed her keys, and walked out into the cool night air.

Kurt wasn't quite sure what she wanted. In this moment, he knew she wanted him to run after her, and try to rescue her. But was that what she wanted long-term? Did she really just want him to protect her? That's not what the past five minutes of talking has told him. He's gotten the sense that she feels the opposite, actually. She would've looked back at him or something, if she wanted him to follow her, right? Should he simply wait for her to come back, wait her out? That makes him feel like a parent, waiting for his screaming child to stop screaming in the middle of the store, hoping nobody will notice him. Jane's not one for throwing tantrums, she's probably actually hurting, and he should be the one to comfort her. He was the only one he wanted touching her like that, in any comforting capacity. He wanted to be her protector, as much as it weighed on his shoulders like an almost visible physical weight.

He decided to trust his instinct, that she needed protecting. He threw the door open, forgetting his coat in the rush. He started scanning the street the second his foot crossed the threshold of Jane's door, searching for any sign of her. She was good at this, at running and hiding, so there were none. The consuming thoughts started to enter his head as he searched around her house, making sure she wasn't just playing a joke on him. He waited for a second and glanced around, looking for the FBI detail that he knew Mayfair only downgraded rather than completely calling off. Kurt knew Mayfair wasn't stupid, but he also knew that she had most likely ordered them to only have one vehicle, low profile, and maintain a safe distance from the asset. When Kurt waited, he saw a flash of headlights down the street a bit, and jogged over to them. The driver rolled down the window, knowing exactly who Weller was.

"She went north, and our guys closer to downtown said they have eyes on her around Patterson's apartment," the driver said, checking his phone again to see if there were any more updates on Jane's condition.

"She's already that far away? Was she running?" Kurt asked them, trying to sound like an agent just asking for information. However contrary to this attempt, Kurt knew that the driver had seen him sitting on Jane's porch, and seen the scene unfolding when Jane came to hold him.

"From what I gathered, she was going at a pretty fast clip, they're following her downtown now, though. They've got her, Weller. You'd be better off just waiting here for them to bring her back," the driver spoke again.

"No." Kurt angrily said at this man whose name he did not know. "Let her go. Tell them to not touch her, she doesn't know that Mayfair left people on her detail, she thinks you're all gone and out of the picture. If anyone picks her up, she'll either panic or she'll never trust Mayfair again. Don't touch her." Kurt spoke quickly at this man.

"We have to take action when the asset has been out of custody for one hour, you know the rules, Weller," the driver sounded slightly irritated with him.

"I know the rules on normal assets, yes. She's not a normal asset. You know the normal ones, bumbling around just waiting to get shot. Jane knows how to handle herself. If she's not back in an hour, I'll go find her." Kurt spoke.

"I'm not one to judge, man, but she might want you to find her right now," the driver faded his voice, allowing Kurt to finish the rest in his head.

"Where's the backup?" Kurt asked, knowing that FBI details typically maintained a backup vehicle at sites where an asset was being protected. It was used for emergency purposes, or frankly, to give the asset a way to get around when necessary. But Jane never used hers, if she even knew it existed, mainly because she has no driver's license anyone was aware of. With Kurt's question, the driver rummaged around in the console for a brief moment, finding the keys he was searching for. He pressed a button on the remote, and another standard issue black FBI SUV blinked its lights. Kurt snatched the keys from the driver and started to walk away.

"I'll forward her last known addresses to you as they come," the driver offered up.

"Thanks," Kurt mumbled, continuing to walk towards the car. He knew where Patterson's apartment was, he had been there for drinks a couple of times. He'd also been there the first time Patterson wanted the team to meet David, months ago. He was quickly reminded how sad Patterson had been momentarily, but how quickly she had wanted to get back to her work. He always admired her, for her intelligence and her dedication, sure. But more important than those two, her kindness to people she had never met. And her fierceness in protecting her people when necessary. Oddly enough, now that Kurt was thinking about it, he noticed similar qualities in Jane. He found that he admired them in Jane a bit more, simply because Jane possessed them. He shoved the keys into the ignition and started the car, taking off in the direction he knew led to Patterson's apartment. He happened to pass his apartment, noticing that the lights were still on. He hoped Sarah had just left them on and gone to bed, rather than waiting up for him. She'd be waiting a long time, he had a feeling, if she was waiting for him.

Apparently, the universe didn't want him to find Jane very quickly, because every single light between her safehouse and Patterson's apartment was red when he hit it. He received a text just as he was turning onto Patterson's street, vigilant in search of Jane. Apparently the driver followed through, telling Kurt that Jane had last been seen entering Patterson's apartment building. He thought that maybe Patterson would have Jane with her, so he called her as he was pulling into a parking spot on the street.

"Hello?" he heard Patterson's distinctly kind voice on the other line.

"Patterson, hey, sorry about the late call," Kurt could hear the drowsiness in her voice.

"It's fine, what's the matter?" Patterson asked, knowing that a late night call could mean nothing else.

"This might be a weird question, but is Jane there with you?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah, she got here a couple minutes ago. She's actually in the bathroom right now, but that's the first thing she asked to do after I gave her some water. She looked pretty stressed, is everything alright?" Patterson asked, clearly concerned for everyone's safety.

"Yeah, yeah, everyone's good. Her detail just called me and asked me to track her down, apparently she ran out in the middle of the night," Kurt lied, hoping she wouldn't pick up on it.

"She said she just needed some space, so she ditched her detail and remembered that I put my address into her burner phone so she came here," Patterson said. "And I thought Mayfair let her detail go?"

"Most of them, yeah. They're still on light night surveillance, just for everyone's safety and Mayfair's peace of mind. She just wants to keep track of Jane," Kurt continued to lie, but that one wasn't as big. Mayfair just didn't want Jane running off in the middle of the night…

"Oh, good. I was worried when she asked for the detail to be removed. Do you want to come up and wait for her? I think she's almost done in the bathroom," Patterson offered, clearly detecting something was off about the whole situation.

"No, that's okay. I'll just wait for her to leave, I told her detail not to breach so she wouldn't know they were still on her," Kurt explained.

"That's fine, but the elevator code is 9736 if you decide to come and visit me for a beer anytime soon," Patterson slyly offered, wanting to give him an in if he wanted it.

"I might be getting thirsty, we'll see," Kurt gave her an answer, hanging up after saying goodbye. He opened the car door, and started walking towards the entrance to Patterson's building.


	4. Chapter 4

"I might be getting thirsty, we'll see," Kurt gave her an answer, hanging up after saying goodbye. He opened the car door, and started walking towards the entrance to Patterson's building.

Patterson hung up the phone, and padded carefully towards the bathroom where Jane had been for a little too long. She just heard quiet sniffles through the door, not much more. She knows that silencing herself is part of what Jane does when she secludes herself, but she also probably doesn't want to trouble Patterson with her messy, unkempt emotions towards Kurt. She also wanted to keep her emotions to herself, almost like a bubble. Just her and the man that she thought Kurt was, who he obviously was not any longer. Patterson didn't really know whether she should knock or what, because she was eavesdropping on a guest in her home. Patterson started backing away from the bathroom door when she decided to start eating. It was a habit, she ate celery when she got nervous. How stupid, right? Of all the things to binge eat, and she picks celery. It's what her mother gave her to calm her down when she was a child, so she would have something to focus on rather than the stressor at hand. She was sitting on her couch, finishing her fourth stalk of celery when she heard a quiet knock at the door. She put her celery Tupperware down and moved to answer the door.

"Kurt," Patterson breathed, relieved that he was here. He could always fix things, especially things pertaining to Jane.

"Hey, where is she?" Kurt frantically asked, looking around for Jane. "It's been 45 minutes, they're going to release the cavalry on her soon,"

"She's been in the bathroom, maybe you should wait though," Patterson suggested gently.

"I can't wait any longer, it's almost been the full hour. You know the rules, she has to be retrieved by her detail if no one's got eyes on her," Kurt sighed, frustrated with the situation.

"Does she not know her detail is still on her?" Patterson asked, very confused.

"No. Mayfair wanted to leave a night crew on her just in case," Kurt didn't finish. He knew how this made him, Mayfair, and the bureau they both worked for look.

"Don't breach the door, please. Just knock and ask her to come out," Patterson suggested again.

"Sure, I'll try that first," Kurt deftly walked to the bathroom door and waited for a second, listening. He heard the sniffles, just as Patterson had earlier. "Jane," Kurt spoke into the door. No response except the sniffles dying down. "Jane, you have to come out now," Kurt tried to tell her. He knew ordering her was hardly the way to get her to do what he wanted, but time was running out.

"No," Jane monotonously spoke at him.

"Jane, I need you to come out of the bathroom now," Kurt spoke, his voice quickly becoming desperate.

"No," Jane spoke again.

"You're going to hate me for this, but that's no different than the usual lately," Kurt glanced at Patterson, who was clearly worried about Jane and Kurt's situation. "Mayfair left your detail on at nights. You've been gone for 45 minutes, you have to be recovered within an hour. You have 15 minutes for your detail to have eyes on you, or they're going to breach this place and you'll have 24/7 security again," Kurt quickly spoke, hoping that would soften the blow a bit. Kurt didn't think until this point to see if the door was locked, but he tried, and of course it was. Jane wasn't stupid.

"Why did you let her do that?" Jane's voice got louder, and it was as if she was finally speaking to him rather than at him. She opened the door quickly, letting it hit the wall behind it. She grabbed her coat from Patterson's couch and started walking away from Kurt and Patterson.

"Jane," Kurt spoke, grabbing her arm and trying to pull her towards him. She snatched her arm from him and swatted his arm, hard enough to leave a mark in the morning.

"What? Isn't this what you wanted? Me under control, under someone else's watch? Well here I am, going downstairs to let my detail _get eyes on me_. Since that's so necessary for everyone but you," Jane breathed the last part, hoping he would hear it or see the hurt that flashed in her eyes. She walked to the door, and looked back at Kurt, holding his arm. Patterson was just standing there, eyes wide with fear of what was to come.

"I have to escort you home," Kurt's strained voice came to her clear, and full of pain.

"I can get one of the _lovely_ agents downstairs to do that," Jane spat at him.

"They can't make contact except in emergency circumstances," Kurt spoke again.

"Isn't this an emergency?" Jane asked, opening her arms in question. Kurt was done with her games, tired of being played. He rallied his strength, forgot about the pain she had inflicted, and walked towards her. She didn't back up, never one to back down from a fight. He grabbed her hand, and put it on his chest in frustration. It's like this was their thing now, if they even had a thing. That's what couples had, and they were not that. Jane knew she couldn't resist him for very long, so she took her hand back and started walking out the door.

"Thanks, Patterson," Kurt mumbled and walked out after Jane. Patterson went back to the couch, and resumed her nervous celery eating.

Jane walked to the elevator and slammed the button with her fist and waited for it. It opened, and she hoped it would close before Kurt came out, but he snuck in. He was clearly seething, but waited for the doors to close behind him.

"Jane, what the hell?" Kurt shouted at her once they were in the elevator, away from the world.

"Why do you even care about me?" Jane quietly asked at him, determined not to let her anger get the best of her.

"What?" Kurt was still shouting at her, but he looked her dead in the eye.

"Why do you care about me? You have so many other people, I'm just extra worry for you." Jane spoke, still quietly and calm as ever.

"Jane, that's not what this is about." Kurt sighed, still looking at her.

"I just need you to be okay, and having me around isn't making you okay. It's doing the opposite actually, I'm making everything worse for you," Jane spoke again.

"It's not you, it's me, okay?" Kurt started looking at his shoes, as if he was actually interested in anything in the elevator other than her eyes. The elevator rung throughout their ears, and Jane stepped around Kurt, being careful not to touch him. She walked out of Patterson's apartment building, with Kurt close behind. Once they were outside, Jane stopped and looked around for a minute.

"What are you looking for?" Kurt kindly asked her. Without thinking, he put his hand on the small of her back, but she stepped forward in an attempt to stop touching him. She wasn't sure why he liked to drop bombshells on her and then try to comfort her.

"My detail, since they were the ones who were so worried about me, _right_?" Jane asked him.

"What do you want from me, Jane?" Kurt asked, a shimmer in his eye telling her what he wanted to hear her say but wouldn't say himself.

"I just want to go home," Jane sighed, walking away from him. She was obviously done with this conversation for the night.

"And I want to talk," Kurt started following her again. It seemed like that's all he was doing lately, following Jane. Not a bad view, if you ask him.

"What do _you_ want from _me_ , Kurt? What do you want me to say? Do you want my permission to go screw Allison Knight? Is that what you want? Because here it is, here's your permission. Go _protect_ her instead of me," Jane spat at him, and continued walking away from him.

"You don't get to do that, you don't get to not show up and then keep telling me you don't want to talk, and then be pissed at me for going to her!" Kurt was angry again, he started shouting at Jane. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to look him dead in the eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

"You don't get to do that, you don't get to now show up and then keep telling me you don't want to talk, and then be pissed at me for going to her!" Kurt was angry again, he started shouting at Jane. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to look him dead in the eyes.

"If I remember, you kissed me back. You were the one that wanted to talk first. So no Kurt, you don't get to be pissed at me. If you want to talk about us, I'm game. Talk. I'm listening, Weller." Jane raised her arms at him, as if asking him a dozen questions at once. She wouldn't take her eyes off of his, waiting for his answer.

"What have you been hiding from me?" Kurt simply asked. He started to calm down, mainly because Jane was calm.

"Why does everything with you revolve around whatever you think I'm hiding from you? You hide stuff from me all the time," Jane continued to glare at him, insinuating exactly what she was saying about Allie.

"Why does everything with you revolve around her?" Kurt asked her, slowly moving towards her. He knew if he could just touch her, she would be okay.

"You keep shoving her in my face, it gets kind of old," Jane backed away from him as he moved closer. She knew if he touched her, she'd be done for. There would be no stopping the flood, the dam would break in that moment. Who knew how fast she could drown in Kurt Weller more than Kurt Weller himself?

"You're jealous? Really?" Kurt chuckled at his own joke. "You don't understand, Jane. You didn't show up, I got the message loud and clear that night,"

"Oh, and what was that message, Agent Weller? Since you're so astute?" Jane had stopped in her tracks, not caring anymore if he touched her or not. She knew he was going to try his hardest, whether she pulled away from him or not.

"That you don't love me!" Kurt was angry again, angry that Jane never really understood what he was trying to say. He could never find the words to tell her how much she was hurting him.

"Do you want to know where I was when you were waiting for me at that park? Do you really want to know why I wasn't there?" Jane was beginning to get angry, simply at the thought of Kurt never wanting to speak to her again.

"Yes! God, yes, Jane! That's all I want!" Kurt shouted at her again, noticing her wincing with every word.

"You can't walk away, if you don't like what I tell you. Because you're going to hate me, but you can't leave me alone in this," Jane pleaded with him.

"Fine, just tell me what happened to you," Kurt sighed, the frustration falling from his face when he realized how serious Jane was. He thought her issue was actually with Allie, but that was just a front, and he could tell that now. She was just trying to find a way to tell him how badly she was honestly hurting. And he wanted to get to the bottom of it. He stood there, waiting for Jane to say more words, but she opened her mouth and nothing would come. There they stood, for who knows how long, in the middle of the sidewalk in New York City. People continued to walk by them, hardly even glancing their way. Jane was wringing her hands, and she finally opened her mouth again and tried to speak.

"I've been in contact with a man named Oscar, he knew me when I was still Taylor. The night that you wanted to meet me at the park, that was the night that he confirmed I'm Taylor Shaw. I keep having memories of him, in different places and situations, and I wanted answers. I've been meeting him a lot, and he kept Carter from killing me," Jane spat it all out at once, hoping Kurt would look over the whole secrets thing.

"Carter, Tom Carter? CIA Tom Carter?" Kurt asked, dumbfounded.

"Oh, yeah, on the way home from kissing you, some guys in all black abducted me, and I woke up in a cement room strapped to a table. Tom Carter was there, and he was the one in charge. He wanted to know who I was, who I'm involved with. I obviously didn't give him the answers he wanted, because," Jane paused and looked at Kurt. She saw the pleading and the strength in his eyes, and it gave her strength to keep going with this. Everything would work out, Kurt would make everything okay. "Because he waterboarded me. He grabbed a drill, and Oscar somehow got in and shot him before he could start that," Jane looked away from Kurt, ashamed that she had kept this so long, and relieved that everything was in the open now.

"Jane, you could have told me," Kurt raised his arms again, but more in question than anger.

"That's not everything…" Jane paused, waited for him to walk away, and felt relief that he continued to stand with her. "Oscar showed me a video, and it was me when I was Taylor. The video was of me, saying that I did this to myself. The tattoos, the plan to drop me in the middle of New York, it was all my plan," Jane wouldn't meet his eyes.

"That makes no sense," Kurt put his hand on her cheek, because he was finally close enough to touch her. Jane leaned in to his touch, reveling in the fact that he hadn't left her yet. He pushed her jaw up gently to make her look at him. "Hey, hey, look at me. Whatever you did, whoever you are, we can figure this out, Jane,"

"One more thing," Jane pulled away from his touch, trying to clear her head and think of the best way to tell him this. "I tried to pull out last night, and I told Oscar I didn't want to meet anymore and that I was done with him. I don't trust him, and I certainly don't trust Taylor Shaw. I said I'm not his asset in the FBI, that I'm just FBI now. He said that if I don't cooperate with the plan, they're going to kill you," Jane spoke softly, knowing the words would kill him, too. Kurt just stood there for a minute, taking in what she had said.

"Jane, you should have told me," Kurt spoke to her. He touched her jaw again, and made her look at him. "It's gonna be fine,"

"They're going to kill you, and it's all my fault," Jane said to him, tears starting to form in her eyes. She put her hands on his chest, almost as if bracing herself for any blows that were to come from his mouth.

"Jane, I'm fine. I'm here," Kurt folded her into his arms, rubbing her back. Simply hearing his voice vibrating against her calmed her tenfold.


	6. Chapter 6

"Jane, I'm fine. I'm here," Kurt folded her into his arms, rubbing her back. Simply hearing his voice vibrating against her calmed her tenfold. Jane finally let her arms surround Kurt, and her head fell against his chest. This spot, with him pressed against her, it seemed like the one place that she belonged. After all this time, she has never felt comfortable in her own skin, her tattooed skin. In Kurt Weller's arms was the only place that she felt she belonged, the place where she was herself and his at the same time. However long they stood there, Kurt's phone started vibrating and he checked to see if it was important. One of them had to break the embrace eventually.

"Hello?" Kurt answered. He glanced down at Jane. "Yeah, I got her." He waited another minute, checked his watch, and spoke again. "Yeah, we'll be back in thirty." Kurt hung up the phone and looked at her. "We've got thirty minutes to walk back to your safehouse before the cavalry descends on us," Kurt smiled at her, starting to walk in the right direction.

"Thank you, for coming to get me," Jane spoke, "and for listening," she linked her arm through the muscular one that Kurt offered to her.

"Thanks for telling me, sometimes I like to know when my life's at risk," Kurt laughed, and Jane smiled. That made it all worth it, seeing her happy for even a brief moment. Kurt paused for a moment, and then his face got serious again. "I can stop seeing Allison, if it really bothers you,"

"No, you're happy," Jane looked at him, only half meaning her words.

"No, I'm not, Jane. And neither are you, so maybe we should fix that," Kurt paused, stopped walking, and faced Jane. She stopped walking too, looking around, wondering what he was doing. She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Kurt took a step towards her and held her face with his right hand. Without missing a beat, he pulled her to him with his other hand, and pressed his lips to hers. Jane was shocked for a moment, but then she started pulling him towards her. Their bodies were pressed flush against each other, but she still needed him closer. Kurt walked them to a wall, and Jane felt her back crash into the cool bricks. Kurt's lips were soft, but his beard was rougher than sandpaper. The contrast against her face was different than the last time they kissed, because he was pressing a lot harder this time. Kurt had effectively enveloped Jane with his body, and he couldn't get enough of her. Jane's heart was beating loudly in her ears, her blood pumping quicker than she ever remembered feeling. There was also a tingly feeling in her core, but she couldn't quite pinpoint when she had ever felt that before, either. Kurt slowly pulled back, Jane's eyes still closed and her mouth still open. His hands were still on her body, and her hands were still on his face. She pursed her lips together, opened their eyes, and met his with a burn he hadn't seen there before.

"I think you should stop seeing Allison Knight," Jane whispered, the corners of her mouth turning upwards in another smile.

"Thanks for the permission, but I already called her on my way to see you at the safehouse," Kurt smiled back at her knowingly. He grabbed her hand and started to walk down the street again. His hand felt right at home holding hers, similar to the familiarity of holding his gun or the steering wheel of a car; something he'd been doing forever.

"Thank you," Jane spoke again, a bit louder. She wrapped her other arm around the arm to which her other hand was connected, walking significantly closer to Kurt's warm body.

"I can wait, you know," Kurt knowingly spoke, and looked at Jane's eyes.

"Wait?" Jane asked, confused.

"For you to figure things out, I can wait," Kurt elaborated as much as he knew how.

"O-okay," Jane stuttered, immensely grateful for the gift that he was giving her.

"And we can take it from the top with your Oscar issue, we can tackle that too," Kurt was able to honestly say these things, in hopes that Jane would believe him. "But for now, I think you'll have to stay a double agent. You have to keep meeting with him and doing the missions he gives you,"

"Just so long as you don't leave me," Jane worriedly said, surprised that he was being so accepting of everything. She was waiting for the catch.

"Jane, I'm not leaving you, you can't get rid of me that easily," Kurt spoke, rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand.

"I just want you," Jane blatantly spoke, looking at him. There was fire in her eyes, sure. But there was also hope and commitment, and he saw all of her emotions on her face.

"Good," Kurt said, smiling at her. "We're here, so you have to go inside and I need to go back home and apologize to Sarah,"

"Apologize? For what?" Jane asked, facing him on her porch.

"I may have yelled at her before I came here," Kurt rubbed his hand on the back of his neck and looked at the ground.

"Because of me?" Jane asked, worried that she had upset Kurt enough to yell at Sarah.

"Not just you," Kurt honestly spoke. She appreciated his candor.

"Go," Jane told him. Jane rubbed his arm, half pushing him away. He started stepping down the porch, and she took a step towards him. "Wait," she walked to him, and grabbed his shirt collar. She firmly pressed her lips to his, shocking him the same way he had already surprised her tonight. He brought his hands to her waist, bringing her body against his once again. Just as he was starting to heat things up, she pulled away. She smiled at him, knowing that if they didn't walk away, they would probably wake up naked in the morning.

"You know, if you keep doing that, I'm not going to want to leave," Kurt's voice had turned too husky for Jane to not be affected by it. Jane was still holding his shirt collar, and she brought him back up to her.

"I already said I wanted you," Jane whispered in his ear. She started to push him away, but he wasn't really moving.

"Jane," Kurt breathed, his eyes were now had the most lusting shimmer on them Jane had ever seen in them, or anyone else's. He firmly pressed his fingers into the flesh around her hips, trying to tell her with his body what his words wouldn't say out loud. He took one step up, so they were on the same surface. He pulled her body flush against his again, and pressed his lips to hers. She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck as he started hiking up her legs to rest around his waist. She felt him straining in his pants, and nothing pained her more than not being able to have him right here. He walked them to the side of the safehouse, pressing Jane's back firmly against the chipping paint.

"Kurt," Jane breathed against his mouth, still not stopping their contact. She was trying desperately to be the responsible one, but these things that he was doing to her kind of kept that side at bay for a while.

"I know," Kurt opened his eyes for a moment as they pulled away, but Jane was still wrapped around him. "Dammit," Kurt sighed as Jane placed her legs on the ground, but left her body pressed to his.

"We'll get there," Jane promised him. "Quickly," she breathed in his ear, knowing the effect she had on him. She started pushing him away, because her mind and her body wanted the same thing that neither could have. Jane knew that if they did it, everyone at the office would know and Mayfair would take her off of his team. She didn't want to spend days away from Kurt, whether they were dating or not.

"Promise me we'll figure this out," Kurt held one of her hands, hoping to stay just a bit longer.

"Wouldn't want it any other way," Jane kept holding his fingers until he was too far to keep holding on.

"See you tomorrow," Kurt breathed, still recovering from their latest encounter.

"Yeah," Jane spoke back, smiling at him again. He walked down the steps, watching Jane walk in the house on her own. She knew that they would end up okay, because Kurt always made everything work out. They'd be okay, she desperately needed to believe that.

~Thanks for reading! That's all I got for now, so thanks for sticking with me this whole time.~


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